Our First Kisses
by Jenna822
Summary: *One Shot Collection* Sometimes, you don't always get it right on the first try. When you love someone, you just keep trying, though. Over and over and over...until you get who you want. Sirius did. *Remus/Sirius* Cᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ.
1. Innocent Experiment

**First Kiss - Innocent Experiment**

**.**

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry lay under a thick blanket of snow in the late of February. The snowfall had stopped several hours earlier, just after dinner, and now tiny trails could be seen across the pristine white of the ground. Trails from a wandering cat not content on curling by the fire with its owner, trails from the grounds keeper making his way between his hut and the castle and several trails from students who had braved the frigid air to cross the grounds to the owlery before rushing back into their commons room for some nice hot cocoa and a cozy blanket. A biting wind moved across the grounds, swaying the thinner branches of the trees on the edge of the forest and catching the robes of a young boy just right, forcing them open.

Sirius Black growled against the wind and secured the edges of his robes into his hands, pulling them tightly around his small frame. He tilted his head towards the ground in an effort to keep the sting of the wind from hurting his lips. He muttered profanities, more than a twelve year should even know, under his breath as he headed for the owlery tower just outside of the castle. The moon was bright in the sky, making him thankful since he didn't have to hold his wand before him to cross the grounds. As he rounded the corner of the owlery, he gave a relieved sigh, being cut off from the direct line of the wind. He started slowly up the steps, allowing the robes to fall proper around his body and shaking out the mess the wind had made of his chin length, wavy, black hair.

As Sirius entered the top of the owlery, he narrowed his eyes at the back of a thin boy, who seemed much too tall to be a mere second year. The boy had his hands on the window sill, leaning against it, looking up at the moon, so focused and lost in his own thoughts that he didn't hear Sirius come up behind him. Sirius folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall near the window that the boy with shaggy brown hair was staring out of. He watched as several owls flew out through the other windows and shook his head, grinning, at how most of them were choosing to stay inside rather than brave the chill for food.

"Even the owls aren't going out in this cold. I would have thought you smarter than a bird," Sirius said, smirking at the way his friend jumped at the sound of his voice. "Didn't mean to scare you. I thought you heard me come in." _Lie. _Sirius knew very well that the boy hadn't heard him come in and often found pleasure in the way he could be startled and scared so easily. He gave a quiet laugh and put one foot up behind him, resting it flat against the wall.

Remus Lupin frowned and pushed himself away from the window. "Owls are quite intelligent, Sirius. In fact, did you know that in the thirties th-" He cut himself off, instantly recognizing the same glazed over look that crossed Sirius' light grey eyes during every History of Magic lesson. "Never mind, I forgot who I was talking to for a minute there." He rolled his eyes and turned his back to the window, sitting back against the sill. "What are you doing out here?"

"I came out here to find you. You left to send that bloody letter over half an hour ago." Sirius stepped away from the wall and moved to stand in front of Remus with an annoyed look on his face. "We were afraid you'd gotten hurt or one of those slimy Slytherins was holding your head in a toilet." He shoved his hand against Remus' shoulder and huffed at him. "Instead, I find you out here staring at the full moon like a loony."

"It isn't full," Remus spat, defiantly. "It's called the Waxing Gibbous. It's the moon cycle right before the full moon." He crossed his arms over his chest and scooted his foot over the stone floor, hanging his head to watch as he moved a bit of straw under his shoe. "I wasn't trying to worry anyone, I just wanted a little time alone. Besides, if _we_ were so worried, as you said, why are you the only one out here?" He cut his eyes up at Sirius without lifting his head and smiled at the way the boy was staring hard at the moon with an analyzing and determined look on his face.

"Well, Peter is in detention for taking the blame on the dung bomb incident and Jam- Are you sure?" Sirius asked, dismissing his own train of thought. "That sucker looks pretty full to me." He took a step towards the window, playfully knocking Remus to the side out of his way. "You're sure it isn't full?"

Remus had flung his arms out in an effort to not fall over from Sirius' shove and barely caught his footing to keep from tripping to the ground. "I'm sure. It is _not_ the full moon," he said, his tone a bit angry at having almost been knocked over. "I already said that it is the Waxing Gibbous. It only looks full because the full is tomorrow night." He took a few steps towards the exit of the owlery and turned back to see Sirius over his shoulder. "You coming or what?"

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius muttered, throwing one more glance at the shining orb hanging clear over the castle. "I'm coming." He dashed ahead of Remus and charged down the stairs, his mind too focused on his quick formed plan to care about the wind, which stabbed him roughly as soon as he stepped past the tower. He dove his hands onto the ground, gathering as much snow as possible, doing his best to ignore the freezing burn it was creating on his hands. "I've got something for you, Mister waxy gibbits," he said, laughing manically as he turned towards the taller boy emerging from around the tower.

"Waxing Gibb-" Remus cut of himself once again, fear shooting through his body at the sight of Sirius holding a massive load of snow in his hands, his eyes flashing with the same sinister glee he had just before the aforementioned dung bomb incident. Remus held his hands up as a shield and shook his head, pleading with his eyes for Sirius to not do what he was planning. "Please, don't hit me with that." His body was stuck in place, his feet afraid to move for fear of setting off the easily excitable dark haired boy. "Sirius, just put it down and let's go inside." He let out a small whine when Sirius made no sign of changing his plan. "I'll…I'll give you some of my candy. Some of the good stuff that I keep hidden."

Sirius' eyes lit up and a wide smile crossed his face. He lowered his hands just slightly towards the ground, but didn't release the snow. "Really? You'll give me some of the good stuff you hide from us?" At Remus' nod, he bit his bottom lip and tilted his head, as though considering Remus' offer. "Would that be the same good stuff that you keep hidden in your shower bag in the fake shampoo bottle?" he asked, his grin turning sinister. At his words, Remus had gasped loudly, knowing he no longer had leverage, and made a quick dash for the door. Remus was fast. Sirius was faster, and he knew it. He chased after the thinner boy, letting out a barking laugh at the panicked scream that came from him as Sirius got closer. With one smooth motion, he swept in front of Remus, making him stop in place less he crash into Sirius, and shoved the huge collection of snow into his face.

Remus growled in frustration as the chill from the white crystals scattered over his face and into the neck line of his robes. "Sirius," he whined, loudly. "It's in my shirt now," he said, his words broken a bit by his attempt not the cry. He shook his shirt and hopped in place, desperate for the snow to fall from the bottom. Once he had rid himself of all that he could, he stomped around Sirius, his face fallen into a childish pout, and moved for the castle. He pulled his robes around his body, though it did no good for the cold was coming from the inside as well as the out.

Sirius jogged up behind Remus, still laughing hysterically over his success, and pulled him to a stop just inside the castle doors. "Remus, wait, don't pout like that, it's just a little snow." He tugged at Remus' arms in an effort to free his robe and see his neck line. He brushed his hands over the boy's collar, the laugh still escaping though a bit quieter now. "There, good as new. You're such a baby sometimes." He pushed against the brown haired boy's chest and quickly reached out to grab onto his arms as he almost tripped over backwards. "Clumsy too."

"I am not clumsy!" Remus cried out, jerking his arms away from Sirius and turning for the stairs. "You're always pushing me over, you jerk. I wouldn't fall, ever, if it weren't for you." He frowned over at Sirius as he fell in step beside him with a grin. "Stop smiling like that, I just called you a jerk. I'm not a baby either, I just don't like getting picked on by someone who is supposed to be my best friend. Why are you smiling like that. I am mad at you. You aren't allowed to smile like that when I'm mad at you."

"I'm smiling because you actually think I'm gonna believe that you're mad at me," Sirius said, shaking his head slowly. "Okay, you win, Remus, I won't pick on you anymore." He gave the boy a sincere smile and threw one arm around his shoulder, having to walk on his tip toes to do so. "Besides, I like picking on the grease ball snaky better than you anyways. I actually like it when he cries." He laughed again, but cut himself off when Remus shrugged his arm away. "Oh, I was only messing around. I don't like making him cry." _Another lie._

"Where is James?" Remus asked, desperate to change the subject. "You were about to tell me earlier, Peter is in detention and James is…where?"

Sirius barked out another laugh and drug his hands back through his hair, tugging at a few knots, but giving up when it began to hurt his head rather than free the tangles. "James is upstairs in the common room being a total idiot. He's trying to sweet talk Anne Marie Duncan into giving him his _first kiss_. What a doofus. I don't know why he's bothered about it. I guess he got into some sort of bet with greasy that he could his first kiss first." He carefully jumped over the vanishing step in the staircase, but caught his toe on the base of the next, causing him to fall forward and smash his hands hard into the stone steps. He hissed in pain and looked up in astonishment at Remus, who was laughing.

"Who's clumsy now?" Remus asked, sticking his tongue out at the boy on the floor. "Yeah, don't see me tripping over any steps, now do ya?" He laughed again, and held his hand out to Sirius to help him off the ground. "That's what you deserve, if you ask me." He smirked as Sirius clasped his hand around his own. He started to tug, trying to pull the boy upwards, but was met with a downward pull he didn't expect, bringing him to the ground fast. "Hey! I was trying to help you."

Sirius scoffed and got himself pulled to sit on the step second from the top of the staircase. "Yeah, well you didn't have to rub it in while you helped," he said, bitterly. "Where did you get that mean streak anyways? I'd say you're hanging around me too much, Remus." He smiled warmly as Remus moved to sit down beside him on the step. "I don't even want to go back if I have to sit there and watch James act like an idiot in front of the whole common room. What's he so arsed about anyway? It's just a stupid kiss." He brushed his hands together, ridding them of the traces of dirt embedded into his palms from the fall. "I mean what is so special about a first kiss? It's all stupid if you ask me."

"I agree," Remus said, adjusting his robes around him and leaning his elbow onto the step behind him to rest his weight onto. When Sirius looked at him with surprise, for in wasn't often they agreed completely, he shook his head at him. "Not about the kiss, about James acting stupid. A first kiss is supposed to be special. It should be someone you want to remember, not the first person that you can talk into it." He gave a small nod and twisted the hem of his robes around his fingers. "I mean in three years, James probably won't even like Anne Marie and then he'll always be stuck with her as his first kiss. Stupid."

"You mean girl," Sirius said, pointedly. Remus looked over at the dark haired boy with confusion and raised his eyebrows. "You said not the first person you can talk into it. You mean not the first girl you can talk into it, right?" Sirius asked, elaborating on his first statement. He stared into Remus light blue eyes and waited for him to answer. "Right?" he asked again as the moment of silence stretched on a bit longer than he was comfortable with.

Remus shrugged his shoulders and leaned forward, laying his arms over his legs and putting his weight onto them. "Yeah, I guess I mean girl. I don't know, I mean for some people it wouldn't be. Like girls and stuff and some guys. I don't know. It's way too soon to be talking about stuff like kissing anyways. We're only in our second year. That stuff should wait till like…at least fifth year to worry about." He stretched his arms up above his head and gave a loud yawn. _Fake_. "I think I'm gonna head back to the commons, I'm exhausted. I'll see you later." He rose to his feet quickly, dashing towards the common room entrance, ignoring the sound of Sirius' hurried footsteps behind him.

"Wait," Sirius said, grabbing Remus by his arm and tugging him back away from the portrait hole entrance to the Gryffindor common room. "You're gonna be my friend in three years right?"

Remus snorted a laugh and nodded at Sirius. "If you don't push me down a flight of stairs and off me first, I will be."

"Stop making jokes, I'm trying to be serious here." Sirius stamped his foot slightly and pointed his finger into Remus' face as the boy opened his mouth. "If you make a joke about my name, I am gonna push you down the stairs," he said quickly, smirking when Remus snapped his mouth closed. "Now, I'm being se-honest here. Me and you, we'll still be friends in three years. Hell, I hope we're friends always, but I know for sure in three years."

"What is the point you're trying to make, it's getting late," Remus said, rather cattily. "Yes, we are going to be friends in three years. Yes, I do hope that we're friends always, now what's the point?"

"My point is that you…and I should…well you said that your first kiss should be someone you'll always like." Sirius chewed on his bottom lip nervously and twisted the edge of his robes over his hand.

"Actually, I said it should be someone you want to remember, but what's that got to do with us?" Remus asked, leaning over against the wall. He let out a quiet laugh and shoved his hand into Sirius' shoulder, playfully. "You sound like you're asking me to be your first kiss, Sirius."

"Your's too. I mean, it would be your first kiss too, wouldn't it?" Sirius asked, looking up at the taller boy with no sign of jest on his face. When Remus caught sight of the honesty in Sirius' eyes, he stopped his laughing and nodded slowly. Sirius smiled and cut his eyes away, taking in the empty hallways and breathing a sigh of relief at seeing no movement other than the occasional shift from one of the portrait inhabitants. "So…if we're gonna always be friends then it shouldn't be a big deal if we went ahead and got his whole first kiss business out of the way. Just…just so that we don't have to be all stressed about it later on." He rubbed at the back of his neck and cut his eyes back up towards Remus.

An audible swallow escaped from Remus as he stared down into Sirius' grey eyes. He licked over his lips, involuntarily, and let out a sharp breath. "I, um…I suppose it would be okay with me. I'm willing to have my first kiss with you." He shifted awkwardly in place and looked at the ground. "Like you said, just to get it over with and all, for later on." He nodded, though he wasn't sure why, and took a step towards Sirius. "N-now?"

"Now's good," Sirius squeaked out, his cheeks growing a hint of pink at his own words. "Just, lean down a little," he whispered. He pushed his hands back over his face and smoothed his hair out of the way, then rubbed his lips together, frowning at the dry texture. His tongue shot out, moving across them in a last ditch attempt at softening them, and he frowned again at his failure, still feeling as though they were too rough, not ready for what they were about to do. "Okay," he whispered, more to himself than Remus.

Remus leaned down a bit, to bring himself more even with the shorter boy, and took a long, deep breath to relax his racing heart. "Okay," he whispered back. A Sirius leaned towards him, he leaned away. "Close your eyes. I can't do it if you're looking at me. It makes me too nervous. Just close your eyes, alright."

Sirius did as Remus asked of him and closed his eyes tight. He waited with his lips pursed, his body utterly still, but nothing happened. He opened one eye to see Remus staring at him with a look of pure terror on his face. "Remus, you're such a baby," he snorted. "You can't be scared of a kiss. It isn't a big deal. Watch, I'll do it myself." With that, Sirius reached up and clamped his hands on the sides of Remus' face, pulling him down to where his own face could reach, and pressed his own dry, rough lips against Remus' soft, warm ones.

Ten seconds, maybe twenty at the most, they stood unmoving. Their lips held together in the nervous and awkward first embrace that neither boy was truly ready for. Their hands didn't move. Their bodies didn't move. Their lips certainly didn't move. When Sirius finally consented to release the other boy's face from his grip, Remus pulled away with a stunned grin on his lips. Both of them looked away from the other, finding random cracks in the stone walls and smudges on the floor to focus their vision on. An awkward cough and a strained sniffle was the only sound to escape either of them for a good five minutes.

Then, as though simultaneously hit with the same horrifying realization, they turned to each other. "Don't tell James." Their voices were as one, causing them to break the tension and bust into small, fitful laughs. They headed into the common room and past a sulking James Potter, who never got his kiss from Anne Marie Duncan.

_We were just two twelve year olds without a clue about life. We were in way over our heads. Our clumsy first kiss was just an Innocent Experiment._

~o ~ o ~ o ~

_I got a funny feeling,_

_the moment that your lips touched mine._

_Something shot right through me._

_My heart skipped a beat in time._

"_You Shouldn't Kiss me Like This" - Toby Keith_


	2. Nightmare's Aftermath

**Second Kiss - Nightmare's Aftermath**

**.**

The fourth year boy's dormitory in the Gryffindor Tower was filled with the sounds of four sleeping boys, all with their curtains open around their beds in an effort to keep cool on the hot spring night. James Potter lay still in his bed with beads of sweat clinging to his forehead, arms and legs sprawled about, his blankets flung to the floor. His breathing was steady and quiet, it was soothing to hear and so rhythmic it could lull someone else to sleep just listening to it. A loud and grating snore emerged from the bed to his right. Peter Pettigrew tossed over onto his side, shoving wildly at the blanket that wound itself around him over the past few hours of tossing in his bed. Despite being dressed in merely a pair of pair of boxers, his overweight body was drenched in sweat and it was soaking into his sheets. To his right, the bed contained the asthmatic wheezed breaths of Alan Cartwright. He lay motionless on his back, fearful of rolling onto his side and having the pillow block his airways. He seemed unaffected by the heat, not a drop of sweat on his fully clothed body. Occasionally, he would gasp loudly for air, but the other boy's knew he was fine.

A little further to the right of Alan, and past the dormitory door, lay a sleeping Remus Lupin. His light brown hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat, his shirt clung to his body making him uncomfortable, though he would never take it off. He lay on his side, his hands clenched tightly around the pillow under his head, his knees pulled to his chest. The boy's breathing was erratic and strained, like that of someone running for their life, he would let out a soft whimper then return to the panicked breaths. His whole body shook and his feet rubbed together in a desperate attempt at moving himself, his dream self. The bed between his and James' lay empty, for the Sirius Black stood over Remus with a worried expression. He wore just his pajama pants and his long, chin length hair was damp from sweat, despite having the bed closest to the window with the breeze.

Sirius reached up and tucked his wavy strands of black behind his ears before dropping to his knees and laying his hand on Remus' shoulder. He shook the boy, gently, not wanting to startle him awake, but rather ease him. When Remus merely whimpered again, Sirius shook him a bit harder. A low growl came from the throat of the sleeping boy, making Sirius withdraw his hand, quickly. He knew at once that Remus was having one of his _werewolf dreams_. Though, to call them dreams would be a cruel misnomer. They were nightmares. Full on, gut wrenching, fear for your life nightmares. They were made up of things that a fourteen year old boy should never have to see or think. Tearing flesh, spurts of blood, pain beyond anything you could fathom, teeth, claws, scratching, biting…howling. Remus had described one of these nightmares to Sirius once and the boy regretted ever asking him to. For these things weren't merely in the mind of the young boy, they were his life.

When the other Marauders had riddled out Remus secret of being a werewolf, the nightmares started. Before, when he was hiding it from them, there was a strong line between the world of werewolf and boy. Once that line was blurred, the two worlds started to collapse on each other. He now found himself plagued with nightmares of chasing his friends and harming them. He would toss and turn and whine into his pillow as his mind forced him to see his own teeth, his wolf teeth, tear apart the flesh of his three best friends, killing them or worse…infecting them. Hearing Remus talk about his transformation was enough to give Sirius nightmares for a week. He couldn't imagine having to live through such a thing over and over and over and over….

Sirius shook his head in determination and climbed onto the bed next to Remus, putting his hands down onto his shoulders and forcing him back on the bed. "Moony, wake up," the dark hair boy hissed, doing his best not to disturb the other boys. "Moony, please wake up." He shook him hard, causing Remus to let out a fierce growl that sent shivers down Sirius' spine. He took a deep breath and shook him harder. "Remus Lupin, you wake up right now," he demanded, his fearful voice betraying his attempt at sounding tough. Remus twisted under Sirius' hold and he tightened his grip, clambering to his knees to help hold the boy down. He had traveled this road many times and he knew exactly where it was leading.

Remus began to squirm angrily under Sirius' hands. His own made desperate swipes at Sirius' head and arms, trying to free himself. It wasn't Remus who wanted to be released, it was the wolf. Sirius moved his head back just in time to avoid being swatted and quickly raised one hand from the taller boy's shoulder and used it to restrain the flailing arm. He shoved the arm under his knee and pressed his weight down, holding it in place. "Remus, listen to me, you need to wake up," he whispered, hints of tears lacing his words. The boy began to whimper beneath him. It sounded innocent. It sounded pained. It sounded helpless. _Fake_. Sirius leaned down and put his lips near the boy's ear. "Let him go," he ordered, his voice finally taking command.

Sirius wasn't fast enough this time and his shoulder bore the consequences as Remus' teeth clipped over his bare skin. A loud growl came from the pinned boy, accompanied by a groan of pain from his captor. Sirius flinched back and clapped one hand over his now bloody shoulder, but held the other firm onto Remus' body, refusing to let him up from the bed. Granted, Sirius was not as strong as Remus, but in his sleep state, the brown haired boy wasn't near as strong as when awake. Sirius clenched his teeth together and pulled his hand away from his shoulder. "Remus wake up," he begged. "Don't make me do it the hard way." After he was answered with another attempted swat, Sirius whipped his hand down and sent a loud pop through dormitory as his hand hit against the sleeping boy's face.

Instantly, Remus' eyes snapped open and he looked up at Sirius with fear. "Sirius?" he asked, his voice broken and afraid. Sirius moved back, allowing Remus to sit up and see him fully. The roused and slightly confused boy reached up and touched his cheek where Sirius had slapped him. He frowned and locked his light blue eyes onto Sirius' grey ones. "I was chasing you." He took a deep breath and reached up, rubbing the side of his hand over his eyes to keep them from spilling the tears they were holding. "Sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"You didn't. I couldn't fall asleep because it is so hot, I was awake when I heard you start whimpering," Sirius told him. _Lie_. He reached out and smoothed his hand across Remus' forehead, wiping away the sweat that clung to it and held his hair down. "Are you alright?" He scooted closer and Remus lifted his eyes once more, this time allowing them to fall on Sirius' shoulder. The light blue eyes widened in horror and Sirius quickly put his hand over the wound. "It's alright, Moony. You didn't mean to."

"I bit you?" Remus squeaked out. "D-do you know what that would have done if it were any closer to the moon? You could get ill from that. Sirius you have to clean it, now." The boy dove into the floor and pulled a large first aide kit from under his bed. He scrambled back up beside Sirius and pulled his hand away from the injured shoulder. "I'm so sorry," he said as the tears began to trail down his face. "You shouldn't get so close. I keep telling you not to get so close. One day you're gonna get hurt really bad."

"Moony, calm down. It was just a nick." Sirius hissed and jerked his shoulder away as Remus dabbed at it with a cloth bearing a heavy chemical smell. The pain in Remus' eyes made his own start to water. "I'm okay, really I am. It didn't even hurt." _Another lie_. Sirius closed his eyes and waited for Remus to dab some of his healing compound onto the gash and cover it with a bandage. "You're good at that, ever think of becoming a Healer?" he asked, shooting Remus a bright grin.

"Practice makes perfect," Remus muttered, wiping the smile from Sirius' face. "How many times do I have to tell you to leave me be when I'm having those dreams? Do you know what it would do to me if I ever seriously hurt you? I couldn't stand it." He sniffled hard and pressed his palms to his eyes, desperately wanting the tears to stop.

Sirius swallowed back his own tears and leaned forward, pulling Remus into his arms. He wrapped his arms around the boy's back and Remus nuzzled into him. Sirius grinned, being reminded of holding onto a large puppy only without a wet nose pressing against his neck. He rubbed his hand over Remus' back and muttered apologies into his hair. He felt the boy shift in his arms as though he were going to pull away, making Sirius tighten his hold on him. He could feel Remus shaking in his arms and there were hot tears spilling over his collarbone. The gentle rocking seemed to help and soon, the tears stopped and the sniffling could be heard no more.

Remus made another attempt to pull away, but Sirius held firm. He shifted beneath him and pulled Remus closer against his body, then turned his head to press his face into the damp, light brown hair that was giving off such a pleasing scent of Coconut shampoo and sweat. He opened his mouth just slightly and pressed his lips against Remus head, making the boy gasp quietly and turn in his arms. Sirius moved his lips a bit closer to Remus' face and kissed him again, this time landing the embrace on the boy's cheek. One more shot, that was all it took for Sirius to bring his lips down onto Remus' in a soft kiss. Their mouths were open slightly, Sirius' from intention and Remus from the cut off words he was about to utter. Sirius pulled away slowly, pulling the other boy's bottom lip out just slightly by holding it between his own. He hadn't even realized he closed his eyes during the kiss, but when he was free, he opened them and stared down at the shocked face of his friend. "I'm sorry," he whispered, desperately.

Remus let out a ragged breath and struggled to pull from Sirius' arms. He pushed his hands against the boy's bare chest and scooted himself across the bed. His hand bumped against his still open first aide kit, knocking it to the ground and scattering the contents across the floor. Remus jumped at the sound and hurried off of his bed to begin picking up his things. Within a moment, Sirius was in the floor next to him, trying to help gather the bandages and potions. Remus pushed his friend away, swatting at his hands to make him release what he was holding. "Stop it, I'll pick it up, just go to bed."

"Moony, let me help you," Sirius argued, both boy's forgetting to keep their voices low. "Just let me help," he pleaded.

"You've helped enough for one night, just get away. Get away from my stuff," Remus hissed, trying to pull a bottle of pain relief potion from Sirius' grip. Sirius fought back against having the bottle taken away, resulting in Remus losing his balance and toppling back against his night stand. He let out a loud groan and flinched as he heard the framed picture of his mother he kept atop the night stand hit the ground.

Between the semi-whispered fight, the loud groan from Remus and the sound of breaking glass, it was enough to rouse James from his sleep and bring the boy running over with a scared look on his face. It took a moment for the full scene to absorb into James' waking mind. His eyes passed over the spilled contents of the first aide kit, the saddened and strained face of Sirius, the broken picture frame with shards of glass beside it and the curled up figure of Remus leaning against his night stand. "What's going on?" he asked, dropping to his knees and beginning to gingerly pick up the broken glass.

"Leave it alone," Remus cried out, grabbing James' wrist and shaking it violently until he dropped the glass back onto the floor. He pushed James away from the mess and shot a deathly glare towards Sirius. "Both of you get away. Get away from my stuff. Get away from me. Just go back to bed. Just go away. Go away." The tears were pouring from Remus' eyes and he wiped mindlessly at his cheeks, knowing it was no use.

James stood up and grabbed Sirius by his arms, pulling him to his feet. "Moony, what's wrong." He turned to Sirius and, with the boy now being bathed in moonlight, he spotted the bandage on the boy's shoulder. "What happened?" he whispered.

"I happened!" Remus shouted. "I happened, are you happy? I did that! I did it! I bit him," he said, the last of his words being drowned out by a choking sob. The boy climbed to his feet and dashed from the room, his vision blurred by the tears, and bounded down the staircase. He threw himself onto one of the couches in the darkest corner of the common room where the moonlight couldn't reach and pulled a crimson and gold throw pillow into his arms. He sat with his back against the arm of the couch and brought his knees to his chest, then pressed the pillow into his face and let out an angry scream into the fabric.

After the pillow was soaked with tears and Remus felt as though he none left to cry, he brought the pillow away from his face. His eyes blurred and then focused on a figure who had someone made it onto the other side of the couch without him knowing it. "Go away, Sirius. Please, just go away."

Sirius shook his head and scooted closer to Remus on the couch. "I'm sorry, Moony. Please don't be mad at me," he whispered. He tucked his hair behind his ears and got onto his knees, facing Remus and looking down at him. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just…I wanted to make you feel better. You were crying and I wanted…wanted you to-to-to…." He shook his head and bit down hard on his bottom lip. "I don't know what I wanted. I guess I thought that maybe you would…maybe you would…kiss…me back," he whispered, dropping his eyes to the couch.

"I. Bit. You." Remus narrowed his eyes at the top of Sirius' hung head and tossed the soaked pillow to the floor. "How the hell could you want my mouth anywhere near you after that? I know you do a lot of things without thinking about the results, but you have to think about this one. If it was a week later right now and I had drawn blood like that on you, you would be in the Hospital Wing with fever already." He stood up and grabbed his hair into fists by his head, tugging at it roughly. "Don't ever try to wake me up like that again. I mean it! Swear to me. I don't care if I am screaming bloody murder you don't come near me!" He dropped his hands and grabbed onto the sides of Sirius' face, forcing him to look up into his eyes. "Say that you swear!"

"I swear," Sirius whispered, shuddering at the cold look in Remus' eyes. "I'm sorry." He didn't feel as though he could say it enough. His heart was racing out of control and his stomach was turning so harshly he thought he was going to become sick all over the common room. He grabbed onto Remus' wrists and held them tight, not letting the boy pull away from him. He lifted up and pursed his lips, aiming for Remus' mouth, but now that Remus was awake, he was much stronger.

Remus jerked his hands from Sirius' grip and took a step back, leaving the dark haired boy to kiss the air. "Do you have a death wish, Sirius Black? You must have, either that or your banged out of your damn mind." He took several deep and frantic breaths, then headed for the staircase back to the dorm. "Stay the hell away from my mouth."

Sirius leapt from the couch and grabbed his friend roughly by the shoulders, slamming him back against he wall just as his feet hit the second stair. "If you don't want me, just say it. Don't you dare turn this into some sort of werewolf thing," he hissed, making sure to keep his voice low. "I mean it. This isn't about the bite. You were in my arms _after_ you bit me and you weren't freaking out then, you didn't freak out until I kissed you." He could feel his breathing become erratic and he backed away from Remus, dropping his eyes to the floor. "Just admit it. Just say you don't want me and I won't bring it back up. I won't try again and I won't say a word on it."

Remus watched his friend stand there, trembling, his head hung towards the floor. Never before had he seen Sirius Black look so beaten, so weak, so…vulnerable. He reached his hand out towards the boy's face and quickly drew it back as he spotted blood already seeping through the bandage on his shoulder. "I don't want you," he whispered. He turned and slowly made his way back up the steps. Someone, probably James, had cleaned up the mess of first aide supplies and broken glass, even repaired the framed picture of Remus' mother. He closed his eyes and sighed in defeat as he crawled back into bed.

Remus thought he had cried himself dry into the common room pillow, but he was wrong. As his hand reached up and brushed across his lips, his eyes watered and a loud sob escaped his throat. He pressed his face into his pillow and cried himself to sleep, not hearing when Sirius came back into the room and dropped onto his knees beside Remus' bed. His hand reached slowly towards the sleeping boy's face and he brushed his thumb over Remus' bottom lip, wishing more than anything that his own lips could be there. "I know why you lied, Remus. I don't blame you, I'm scared as hell too. I won't just give up, though." He pulled his hand away and stared at Remus for a bit before adding, "I _know_ you felt it too."

_Maybe it was bad timing coming straight off of a nightmare and having the bite thing to deal with on top of it, maybe it was just that it was too soon and we weren't truly ready to be together at that point, maybe it was just that James woke up and brought reality rushing back to the situation before we had a chance to discuss it. Whatever the reason, we blew this chance to be together. It isn't easy to go back to normal when you've had this awkward encounter between you, but we did manage it. James was a little confused on why we wouldn't speak for three solid days or why for two weeks after we started speaking again, we couldn't look at each other, but we passed it off as having a fight over the bite situation and he was quick to believe us. After the full moon, our lives went back to normal before the kiss, as normal as possible with both of us still thinking about it so often. It didn't matter how much we wanted to make another go at it, we both felt as though our moment had passed and there wasn't going to be another one. Perhaps we shouldn't have had our second kiss in a Nightmare's Aftermath._

~o ~ o ~ o ~

_There's a different feel about you tonight,_

_it's got me thinking lots of crazy things._

_I even think I saw a flash of light,_

_it felt like electricity._

"_You Shouldn't Kiss me Like This" - Toby Keith_


	3. Drunken Mess

**Third Kiss - Drunken Mess**

**.**

Christmas decorations hung neatly over the entire Potter household. There was a huge tree, real of course, that seemed to have every branch decked in bright red and green ornaments or silvery tinsel strands. Garland hung over every door and window. Sprigs of mistletoe floated around the rooms, charmed to randomly perch themselves over people and not leave until they had been kissed. The dining room was enchanted with a snowfall, made to disappear just before it reached a person or the large banquet table piled high with a collection of holidays foods. Wizarding and Muggle Christmas carols rang out through the mansion, most of which were unable to be heard over the chatter or drunken singing of the Potter's guests.

While Harold and Audrina Potter entertained a multitude of friends and family downstairs, four fifteen year old boys were having their own little party upstairs. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew all sat in the floor of James' large bedroom, each clinging to a small bottle of Firewhiskey that had been nicked from the adult party, with the help of James' invisibility cloak. Their laughter rang out through the room, luckily overpowered by the noise from the party, as the boys drank and made up their own crude, and slightly perverted, versions of the familiar Christmas carols.

Remus, who had been given the task of writing down the new versions, in hopes of later distributing them and causing a bit of annoyance amongst the teachers when they returned to school, dropped his muggle pen and shoved the notebook off of his lap. "I can't even read what I'm writing," he said, his words becoming slurred. "Besides, I don't think that boat and hope rhyme anyway." He laughed quietly and leaned his back against the footboard of James' bed, tipping up his nearly drained bottle. He was the light weight of the group, so this was only his first bottle, whereas the others were in the midst of nursing their second ones and Sirius his third.

"It does too, Moony," Sirius said, shooting the werewolf a daggered stare. "Listen. Hoooope and boooooat. You see?" He stuck his tongue out defiantly, as though he actually made his point, and shifted himself to sit cross legged on the floor rather than on his knees as he had been. He drug on hand back through his long black hair and frowned at feeling a knot. He didn't bother tugging at it, he knew better by now. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a loud, noxious burp coming from the boy to his left. "Peter," he whined, scooting away from the laughing boy. "That was gross." He continued moving away from the overweight boy until he was next to Remus, leaning on the footboard.

James laughed hysterically, though as a sober James he wouldn't have this quite so funny, and clapped Peter of the back, nearly causing the boy to topple forward and spill his bottle. "Watch it, Pete! Don't you spill that stuff, the Elves will tell my mum if they have to clean it up." He laughed again and leaned back, resting his weight on his empty hand and extending his legs in front of him. He tossed back his bottle and took a huge swallow, following it with an equally loud, though not as disgusting, burp. "Ha! Beat that one, Pete." His entire face lit up with pride as he waited for Peter to counter his challenge.

Sirius and Remus watched with disgusted faces as James and Peter launched themselves into a twenty minute burping contest. Finally, James conceded, declaring in a drunken slur that, "I runnded out a my burps." Peter let out a small, yet still toxic, burp as a celebration, making the other boy's cover their faces and frown at him.

"Ya see, Pete, it iz that stuff is that is why that's why Sarah won't kizz you," Sirius said, pointing his finger at Peter using the hand clutched around his bottle. "You're never gonna get 'er to pucker up if ya keep doin' that." He nodded his head at Peter, his face pursed as though he had just revealed something brilliant and undiscovered. "I dunno why ya would wanna kizz 'er anyways. She's got those big teeth." He pulled his lips back and revealed his front teeth, tucking his bottom lip underneath them, and began making tiny rodent sounds at Peter.

Peter pouted his lip out and folded his arms over his chest, looking quite put out. Sirius just laughed and leaned back against the footboard, shooting Remus a quick wink, making him sputter into his bottle and dribble Firewhiskey down his chin. Remus narrowed his eyes at his dark haired friend and drug the back of his hand across his chin, then wiped it onto his jeans. He took another drink and turned his attention to James as he poked at Peter's side trying to get him to stop pouting. "See what ya did, _Sirius_," James said, drawing out his friend's name and giving him a glare. "Not everyone can have someone as hot as Becky McDonald for their first kiss, ya know."

This time, it was Sirius' turn to sputter into his bottle, though it was quite a bit worse and he sprayed both James and Peter in the process. He barked out a laugh as the boy's wiped at their faces and shot him cold stares. "Becky McDonald was _not_ my first kizz!" he cried out, licking over his lips. "Anyways, I can it say much, I'd-I'd rather have Beaver Sarah for my firs' kizz than Flabby Gabby." He looked over at Remus with shock when he received a rather harsh arm slap from him. "What? James doesn't care, do ya James?" He asked, looking at his messy haired friend with a grin.

James frowned at Sirius and assumed the same pouting and arm folded position as Peter had taken moments ago. "Gabriella was _not_ that big when I went with her," he said, taking a long pull from his bottle. He narrowed his eyes as Sirius continued to laugh and finished off his third small bottle of Firewhiskey, tossing it over onto the pile of discarded bottles. "You're a mean drunk, ya know that?" he asked. He turned to Peter and gave him a nudge in the side. "There's nothing wrong with Sarah, Pete. Like I said, not every girl can be hot like- What do you mean Becky wasn't your first kiss?" James cried out, turning his head furiously towards Sirius.

Sirius went rigidly still and locked his light grey eyes onto the hazel ones of his bespeckled friend. "I dinit say that," he answered, too drunk to even attempt his innocent face. When James and Peter continued to stare at him with wide eyes and set faces of determination, he sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Okay, she wasn't. Drop it." He glanced over at Remus, who had pulled his knees to his chest and was silently running his finger around the mouth opening of his bottle, and snagged the bottle from his hands. The brown headed boy didn't even protest, or look up, as Sirius swallowed the last drink from his bottle and tossed it onto the empty pile.

"Then who was it? Sirius, who was it?" James asked, getting a huge grin on his face. "We was all there when you came back from yer date with Becky. Who did ya kiss before her?" When Sirius merely shook his head at James, the messy haired boy scoffed at him. "Who was it? Was it Cordelia? Pamela? Anne Marie? It had better notta been Anne Marie!" He narrowed his eyes, but each of his guesses was met with the same head shake from Sirius, who was now keeping his eyes locked sheepishly on the toe of his shoe.

"James, you guessin all the pretty girls," Peter pointed out. "If-if it had been one a the pretty girls, then Sirius would tell you straight away. It has to be one a the ugly ones. Beth? Janie? Troll Tara?" When each of his guesses was met with the same disconnected head shake, he sighed and took a long pull from his bottle. "Whoever it was," he continued as he lowered the bottle. "It was someone you-you is ashamed of."

"I am not!" Sirius yelled, flinging himself towards Peter and knocking the boy back onto the floor, a wild flash crossing his eyes. He glanced back at Remus as the boy let out a small whimper and tightened his arms around his knees. "Juz cuz I dun wanna tell you nosy sods, doesn't mean I'm-I'm ashamed." He took a few deep breaths and leaned back against the footboard. "It's none of yer damn business en-anyway." He folded his arms across his chest and pouted at his shoes. "Troll Tara iz a dumb nickname."

"It was Anne Marie. You won't tell me cuz it was Anne Marie and you dun wanna hurt my feelins. You don't have to hide it, I don't even like Anne Marie anymore," James said, throwing a glance at Remus, who snorted a laugh into his hands. "Wha? I'm allowed to not like 'er anymore. She got all…all…bitchy!" He let out a loud laugh and pushed his foot into Sirius' knee. "It was Anne Marie, wazzin it?"

"No!" Sirius put his hands over his ears and shook his head. "Stop asking me!"

"Don't be a baby. Then it was…'Lizabeth?"

"Diane?" Peter offered.

"Katherine?"

"Millie?"

"Audrey?"

"No! No! No! No! No! Stop asking!" Sirius shouted, grabbing at his hair and pulling it harshly. "Just shuddup already!"

Remus let out a sigh and uncurled himself, then got onto his knees in front of Sirius. His face betrayed no trace of emotion as he reached up and pried Sirius' fingers loose from his hair. "Calm down," he whispered. "Just shut it, guys," he spat towards James and Peter, narrowing his eyes at them both. He shifted to sit back where he had been and felt someone shove his shoulder. He looked back and saw James giving him a goofy grin.

"He isn't your pet, Moony, you dun always have to defend him," James said, sitting back down. "Why aren't you guezzin who it was?"

At this moment, a loud barking laugh erupted from Sirius and he flung himself forward, having to throw his arms out to keep from smashing his face into the ground. "He duzzint gotta guess, he knows who it was," he said, his laughter fading into more of a cackle, more fitting for a member of the Black family. When James and Peter both gave him questioning looks, he stuck his tongue out at them . "He knows cuz he waz there," he said, his voice taunting and cruel.

"Shut up, Sirius." Remus' words were harsh and cold, slicing through the air like the tip of a sword, cutting into Sirius' chest. The boy grasped at his heart and gasped dramatically, giving a shocked look to Remus. "Shut. Up." Remus narrowed his eyes and ignored the looks he was receiving from the other two boys, who had never once heard Remus speak so coldly to their long haired friend, or anyone for that matter.

Sirius sniggered into his hand and turned back to James and Peter with a grin. "Don't look at'im like that, he is-he's juz afraid I'mma tell you thad it waz him." He nodded and gave both boys a look that resembled the one a Professor would give once you answered a question correctly.

James and Peter simultaneously collapsed into fits of laughter, clutching at their sides and staring at Sirius as though he had lost his mind. "You expect us to believe…." James began, having to stop for the laughter was too much. "That Remus was yer firz kiss?" Peter finished the thought, shaking his head and taking deep breaths to calm himself. This reaction seemed to take Remus' determination for Sirius not telling and change it into hurt at him not believed when he did tell. The young werewolf reached out and smacked both of his laughing friends across the sides of their heads.

"What's so bloody funny?" Remus snarled, looking between Peter and James with slitted eyes. "You don't think someone would kiss me?" He leaned back against the footboard and pulled his knees to his chest, feeling very put out by the laughter of his friends. "Jerks. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm kissable," he muttered under his breath.

"Yeah, you are," Sirius said, brashly, agreeing with his friends mutterings. He turned and shot dagger eyes at James and Peter. "Why is you laughin'? It was Remus! It was in our…in our…in our…" he trailed off this time with a questioning tone and cast his gaze back at Remus. He nodded when the brown haired boy held up two fingers without looking up, and turned back to the others. "Our secon' year. We was in the hall. You," he pointed his finger accusingly at James and sneered at him, "were trying to kizz Anne Marie." He scrunched up his face in annoyance as his friends once again started laughing.

James held up his hands and tried to give Sirius an apologetic smile through his laughter. "I'm sorry, Sirius, but you can _not _expect me to believe that!" He took a few frantic breaths to stop the laughter and shook his head at Sirius, who was staring at him with unwavering determination. "Fine, then prove it."

Remus looked up from his knees and gave James an exasperated look. "How? Get a Time Turner and take your ass to watch yourself?" he asked, cattily, still annoyed that James and Peter found the idea so hilariously unimaginable.

"Do it again," James said, simply. When both Remus and Sirius looked at James as though he had lost his mind, he smiled sneakily and tilted his head. "If you actually done it before, then you won't have a problem doin' it again. Juz kiss." He leaned back onto his hands and watched as Remus shifted away from the long haired boy with a distraught look on his face. "See, I knew you guys were putting us on."

"We are not," Sirius said, narrowing his eyes at James. He clambered drunkenly onto his knees, just avoiding falling back into Peter as he moved, and positioned himself in front of Remus. He reached for the boy's face, but his hands were batted away. "Remus, don be so stubborn. Jus kizz me so they believe uz." When Remus vehemently shook his head, Sirius made another grab for his face. "Mooooony, come on!" Sirius whined loudly. He was caught off guard by Remus' hands thrusting against his chest. Despite swinging his hands behind him as quickly as he could, he still tumbled back onto the floor, hitting his back with a loud groan.

Hysterical laughter rang out through the room as James and Peter fitted and clutched at their stomachs. "I knew it!" James cried out, pointing at Sirius' groaning figure. "I knew you guys were kidding." He gasped for air and rubbed his hands over his face, trying to lessen the red that it was flushed from laughing. He shook his head at Sirius as the boy slowly climbed back onto his knees and rubbed at his lower back. "Ah, Remus, you didn't have to be rough with him. He wouldn't have actually kissed you," James said, pushing his hand into his hair and grinning.

Remus' face fell and he stared at James with his eyes full of hurt. "Y…yes he woulda," he whispered, lowering his eyes to the ground when James shook his head again. "He would to." Another head shake from James sent a tear down Remus' face. "I think I would know better than you," he muttered. All it took was one more snorted laugh from Peter for Remus to get onto his knees, throw his arms around Sirius' neck and crash his lips against the stunned boy's.

Sirius tensed with shock and gasped into the kiss, having not expected it to happen after the shove. He quickly pulled his mind together and pushed back against Remus' lips, eagerly, only to have the boy scramble away from him. He gave the blue eyed boy a soft smile and scooted towards him a bit, throwing a cheeky grin over at James and Peter, who both had their mouths open in wide eyed shock. "Told ya," he said, jutting his tongue out, childishly. He looked back over at Remus and felt his heart fall at seeing a tear on the boy's face. "Moony, waz wrong?"

"What's wrong is that you two just kissed!" James shouted, climbing to his feet and heading for his bedroom door. He stopped in the midst of his storming and rounded back on Sirius with a glare "I can't believe that two of ma best mates have been running around snogging and hidin' it!" He shook his head and glanced over at Peter, waiting for his reaction. The larger boy just scooted away from Sirius with the shock still written on his face.

Remus looked up at James with horror and shook his head frantically. "No, no, no, we haven't been. James it wasn't like that." He pushed his hand across his face to get rid of the tears and gave the messy haired boy a desperate look. "We haven't been off snogging. It was only once and it was so long ago." Seeing the still angry look on James' face made another tear spring to Remus' eyes. "It was just one kiss."

"Pluz the one you juz did," Sirius offered, crossing his legs and smirking at Remus.

Remus narrowed his eyes and kept them locked on James. "It was just two kisses."

"Whad about," Sirius started, reaching up and pulling the collar of his tee-shirt down to reveal a small scar across his shoulder.

"You aren't helping," Remus spat towards a now laughing Sirius.

"I don't care how many it was, you two shouldn't be hiding stuff from me!" James yelled. He pushed his hand into his hair and bolted from the room, slamming the door behind him, causing Remus, Sirius and Peter to jump at the sound.

_James cooled off and was talking to us again by dinner the next night. It took a few weeks, but eventually Peter was able to look at us again without making a gag face. We told James that we were only goofing him, that we never actually kissed when we were younger and that it was just the drink that took it that far in front of him. He watched us differently after that, though. It was like he didn't believe us. Our third kiss turned out to be such a Drunken Mess._

~o ~ o ~ o ~

_They're all watchin' us now._

_They think we're fallin' in love._

_They'd never believe we're just friends._

"_You Shouldn't Kiss me Like This" - Toby Keith_


	4. Pain of Jealousy

**Fourth Kiss - Pain of Jealousy**

**.**

The heavy scent of healing compounds, sterilizing liquids and medical potion hung in the air of the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts. Neatly made beds lined the walls in two rows, some with curtains pulled around them to protect the privacy of the occupants. In Madame Pomfrey's private office, at the back of the wing, there set another bed, put there for one patient who found himself needing more privacy during his visits than a simple curtain could offer. A tall boy with a thin, almost sickly, figure and shaggy light brown hair lay stretched out on the private bed, attempting to keep his eyes open as the Nurse applied a thick, white, healing compound to the gashes across his arms and chest. The paste smelled foul and when it touched his skin, Remus felt as though someone had set fire to his wounds.

Despite the pain, Remus always allowed the healing compound treatment on his wounds. The white paste sped up the healing and the boy would rather spend ten minutes in searing agony than have to carefully move around the school and risk the watchful eyes of his peers picking up on his pain. Pain was a familiar thing to Remus Lupin, as a werewolf, it was something he had grown quite accustom to over the years. The burning from the compound would fade and in its place a soothing, chilled effect would take over, making him relax onto the bed and let out a relieved sigh.

"Just take it easy, Mister Lupin," Madame Pomfrey said as she pulled a thin blanket up around Remus' chest, covering him completely before his visitors came in. "I'm going to check on the other patients now, you try and get a little rest, it'll help. I'm going to leave this here if you need it." The older woman gave Remus a warm smile and scurried out of the room, leaving him a small vial of Pain Relief Potion on the table beside the bed.

Remus rolled his eyes at the vial and shifted on the bed to get more comfortable. On some occasions, after the nights of the full moon, Remus would take the potion and bring a swift end to the sore muscles and burning gashes that made up his body, but it was rare. _A last resort._ That was how he felt about the pain potion, he refused to become dependant on the liquid to ease him every moon. The blue eyed boy closed them and focused on breathing steadily and keeping his mind elsewhere, knowing that once he had the distractions of his friends, he would have an easier time dismissing the pain. Ten minutes passed. No Marauders. Another ten minutes. No Marauders. Ten more minutes and there was no sign of the other Marauders. Remus was growing worried, they were never late. James, Peter and Sirius were usually at the door begging for entrance when Madame Pomfrey was finished with the healing session.

Forty-five minutes had gone by since the Nurse had left the room before the first of the Marauders came inside. A look of desperate apology was glued to Sirius Black's face as he stepped inside the tiny office and approached Remus' bed. "I'm sorry, I'm late, Moony. The other's should be here soon. We got…held up, you could say." He pulled his usual chair from Madame Pomfrey's desk and scooted it over next to the head of Remus' bed. "How are you feeling?"

Remus gave his friend a weak smile and reached up, brushing his hand across his forehead to rid his eyes of his hair, making a mental note to trim it later. His eyes were reddened and the undersides bore deep purple bruises, proof of the boy's late night antics. Three nights, no sleep. It was rough, but he was used to it, and after almost a year and a half, so were the other Marauders. "I'm alright, we had a rough night though, didn't we?" he asked, twisting his body slightly in an effort to loosen his tight muscles.

Sirius nodded sheepishly and focused his eyes on his fingers, which were being twisted into the edge of the blanket hanging from Remus' bed. "It was bad at the end. Never been so glad to see morning," he whispered, his voice full of the gravity of the situation, sounding as though it just wasn't fitting to discuss it at a normal volume level. "Everything's okay now. I just worry about next month. We won't be there for you and that bugs me." He looked up and met the tired eyes of his friend, begging him with his own. "Are you sure you won't reconsider? We can all Floo to you and run for the nights you need us. It won't be a big deal. That's what we all plan on doing after school ends next year anyways. We graduate in a year and we aren't just going to up and abandon you after that happens."

Remus shook his head in an effort to say no, but his voice betrayed him. "I'll think about it, Padfoot," he whispered. He took a deep and ragged breath and dropped his hand over his stomach as a growling filled the room. "I'm hungry," he stated matter-of-factly, as thought his body hadn't just made that fact clear. "Did you guys eat yet?" he asked, looking back over at Sirius. When Sirius shook his head, sending his shoulder length black waves bouncing around, Remus frowned at him. "I thought that was why you guys are so late. I figured breakfast held you up. What kept you, then?" His eyes narrowed involuntarily as he became slightly annoyed with the situation.

Sirius let out a loud scoff and scrunched his face in disgust. "What kept us was _Millie_," he said, sneering the girl's name. "I barely escaped. James and Pete are still fighting off her questions in the common room." He sat back in his chair and kicked his feet out, sliding them underneath the hospital bed. He turned his face away, not wanting Remus to see how angry his eyes were. "I wish you would tell her to stop bothering us. She's _your_ girlfriend and we shouldn't have to deal with her questions." He rubbed his hand over his mouth and feigned as though there was something interesting on Madame Pomfrey's desk, keeping his eyes locked on a stray potion topper.

Remus sighed loudly and closed his eyes, leaning his head back into the pillow. "What shall I tell her, Padfoot?" he asked, his tone dry and annoyed. "Should I just waltz up and say 'hey, Millie, I think you should that your boyfriend is a furry creature of the night who would tear you apart if you were near him three nights out of the month'. I can really see that going well." Sirius merely shifted in his seat and made a huffing sound, causing Remus to get slightly more annoyed with him. "I can't tell her anything, Sirius, you know that. You guys should just ignore her."

Sirius rounded back on his friend with his eyes flashing red. "We try to ignore her, Moony! She stalks us. This time, she was standing outside of the dorm room when we came out. It's always the same." This is the point where Sirius started batting his eyes and holding his hands clasped at the side of his face, using a girly voice full of mocking as he spoke. "Where is he, boys? I know you know where he is, boys. I'm just going to follow you, boys. I have a right to know, boys." He dropped his hands and threw himself back in the chair again, curling his lips in distaste. "She always calls us boys like we're under her or something."

Remus shifted on the bed slightly, not even bothering to open his eyes. "You don't have to be mean, Padfoot. I'm not going to forget that you hate her, you don't have to keep reminding me with your condescending attitude and snarky comments." He reached up and brushed his hair from his eyes again and licked over his rough lips. "I don't know why you hate her so much. She's really quite nice, you wouldn't know that though, you never gave her a chance." The snort that came from a now sulking Sirius, made Remus groan and roll his head to the side, opening his eyes to look at the dark haired boy. "Why do you hate her so much?"

Sirius shrugged and folded his arms over his chest, sticking his lips out just so that it reminded Remus of a five year old who had just been asked why they cut off the new baby's hair. "I dunno," Sirius said, refusing to look up at Remus. "She just gets on my nerves. She's always hanging around and asking questions and sitting on you like you're some kind of chair. We can't even talk anymore without her there butting into the conversation." He flicked a piece of lint off of his pants leg and lolled his head back, letting out an exasperated sigh. "I just don't like her, Moony. I don't see why you do."

Remus pursed his lips and eyed Sirius. "I like her because she's nice and she's smart and we have a lot in common and sh-"

"She's a werewolf too?" Sirius asked, letting out a loud barking laugh. "I'm sorry, Moony, I don't see how you have anything in common with her. Yeah, you both like books, but honestly that is junk. What are you going to spend the rest of your lives sitting around discussing Shakespone?"

"Shakespeare."

"Whatever. That isn't the point."

"What is the point?"

Sirius growled in frustration and drug his hands through his hair. "The point is, she isn't right for you. She's just…she is…she's just not right for you." He dropped his hands roughly into his lap and shook his head. "She must be one hell of a snogger for you to like her so much despite her being a total b-"

"Padfoot!"

"Sorry," Sirius muttered. "So…is she?"

"Is she what, Sirius?"

"A good snogger."

Remus made a scoffing sound and turned away from Sirius. "I'm not telling you that, Sirius," he said, pointedly as he adjusted the blanket around himself.

"Come on, Moony, tell me," Sirius prodded, leaning forward in his seat and getting a sinister smile on his face. When Remus refused to glance at him, he sat up fully and scooted his chair closer to the boy's bed. "Tell me," More silence from Remus. Sirius let out a small growl and scooted closer still. "Is she a better kisser than me?"

Remus jerked his head towards Sirius so fast his neck cracked, making him wince in pain. "How the bloody hell would I know that, Padfoot?" he asked, reaching up to massage the back of his neck.

Sirius smirked and pulled Remus' hand away, putting his own in its place and rubbed at the back of Remus' neck, digging his thumb and fingertips into the boy's tense muscles and down towards his shoulders a bit. Remus closed his eyes, enjoying the impromptu massage he was getting and let out a long, slow breath. "Answer me. You know the answer. We've kissed before. Several times, actually," Sirius said, smiling at the way that Remus was relaxing into his hand.

"We've never had a proper kiss, Padfoot. I can't compare for you, sorry. You'll have to look for someone else to stroke your ego," Remus said quietly, feeling himself start to drift off to sleep.

"Stroke my ego? I was just asking about kissing here, I didn't think you'd go and get all perverted on me, Moony," Sirius said, letting out a quiet laugh and rubbing harder at his friend's tense neck muscles. "I'm only goofing. I know what you meant." He stayed silent for a while, listening to the other boy's steady breathing and watching his chest rise and fall with each breath he took. He slipped his hand from Remus' neck and brushed it across his forehead, sweeping the hair from his eyelids. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip and gently moved to sit beside the other boy on the bed.

Remus opened his eyes and gave Sirius a questioning look, raising his eyebrows and sitting up just a bit to see him better. Sirius leaned down and gently pressed his lips against Remus', putting his hands on either side of the boy's head to hold his weight. He pushed down against the blue eyed boy's lips and moved his own against them with a slow, passionate focus. He forced Remus' mouth open and slipped his tongue into it, caressing it against the other boy's until Remus let out a small whimper against his lips. Sirius answered the sound by pushing down harder into the kiss and grazing his teeth over the boy's lips, causing Remus' rough and dry bottom lip to split slightly and lace the kiss with the faint taste of blood, which did nothing to discourage Sirius. He moved his lips with more fervor and slid one hand down, locking it around Remus' waist and making him yelp in pain and bite down on Sirius' tongue.

"I'm sorry!" Sirius cried out, spring from the bed and throwing his hands up in surrender. "I wasn't thinking, I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you really bad?" he asked, his eyes full of fear and regret. He stepped back over to Remus and looked down on him as he pulled the blanket back to reveal a deep gash, filled with the healing compound, right where Sirius had grabbed him. "I'm so sorry," Sirius whispered again, tears brimming at the edge of his eyes. He dropped back into his chair and pulled his feet up, perching them on the edge of the seat, and hugged his arms around his knees.

"It's alright, Padfoot," Remus said. "It didn't hurt, it just surprised me is all." _Lie_. He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and sucked the blood from it as he inspected his gash to make sure that none of the paste had been pulled from it and taken onto the blanket. Once satisfied that it was alright, he lowered the blanket back down and looked over at Sirius with vacant eyes. "Why did you do that?"

"I didn't mean to, I got carried away. I wasn't thinking about you being hurt," Sirius asked, wiping at his eyes before they had a chance to release the tears.

"I meant, why did you kiss me?"

"Oh," Sirius whispered. He sat in silence for a bit, only finally consenting to answer Remus when the boy cleared his throat harshly. "I don't know, okay. You said we hadn't had a proper kiss for you to compare to and I just thought that I -"

"What?" Remus' voice was sharp and cold. He sat up in the bed and looked down at Sirius with anger in his eyes. "You kissed me so that I could tell you if you were better than Millie? Sirius that is just…that is so…you're an asshole!" he yelled. When Sirius opened his mouth to protest, Remus put his hand up and shook his head. "Just shut up, Sirius. Just…shut up. I don't want to talk about it and no, I won't tell you if you were better or not, so you wasted your damn time."

"Remus I didn't do it s-" Sirius never got the chance to finish his sentence, for at this moment, the door to Madame Pomfrey's office came open and the two missing Marauders came spilling into the tiny room, both wearing matching looks of irritation.

"Moony, your girlfriend is bloody annoying," James started.

"And fast," Peter added, gasping for breath. When Remus raised his eyebrows at the boy, he elaborated. "We ran from her. She followed us towards the grounds, we slipped through a passage way and took off here, but she followed, we barely lost her. Well…we didn't lose her, we split up and she followed James and he lost her, but still." Peter dropped onto the end of the bed and leaned his head against the wall in exhaustion.

"You gotta tell her something or dump her one, Moony, because it is getting old. It's been five months and she isn't giving up." James pulled a stool towards the hospital bed and sat down on it, then leaned forward onto the empty space where Sirius had been sitting moments ago. "Do you love her?"

"No."

Remus had given a simple, no nonsense answer and it made anger flare inside of Sirius like he had never felt towards his friend. He shot up out of his seat and narrowed his eyes at Remus. A few deep and soothing breaths wasn't enough to squash the words trying to escape from his chest and within seconds, Sirius was screaming. "Then dump her! If you don't even love her then you shouldn't be bothering with the bitch! You're not the only one that is being affected here!" He thrust his finger towards Peter as an example and let out a small growl. "She's ruining our lives!" He whipped his robes back from around his feet and stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him.

James shook his head slowly and looked at Remus with concern. "He really hates her, you know?" he asked, taking over the seat that Sirius abandoned.

"I know," Remus answered. "You guys don't have to worry, I'm not going to stay with her. I was gonna break it off before summer anyways, I might as well do it sooner rather than wait another two weeks." He gave a long sigh and chewed his bottom lip, still tasting the trace of blood and Sirius' mouth.

_James would later tell us that it was how we dealt with the Millie situation that made him sure out feelings weren't just of a friendly nature. Luckily by now, he had gotten used to the idea, so he wasn't upset or angry over the idea that something could end up happening between us. Things might have gone better here if it weren't for the fact that our fourth kiss was so heavily laced with the Pain of Jealousy._

~o ~ o ~ o ~

_You shouldn't kiss me like this,_

_unless you mean it like that,_

'_cause I'll just close my eyes and _

_I won't know where I'm at._

_We'll get lost on this dance floor,_

_spinning around_

_and around and around and around._

"_You Shouldn't Kiss me Like This" - Toby Keith_


	5. Perfect

**Fifth Kiss - Perfect**

**.**

Quiet footsteps could be heard moving through the empty corridors of Hogwarts. Several portraits stirred in their frames, twisting their heads in search for the one creating the soft, yet distinctive, sound. The portraits did not find the culprit, for his was under cover of one highly powerful Invisibility cloak. Sirius Black eased through the hallways, making his way towards the school's kitchens to collect snacks for a late planning session between himself and two other of the Marauders, one of them being on his Prefect rounds and thus unable to stop the schemes for a Halloween prank. It was the Marauders final Halloween at Hogwarts and they weren't going to let it pass by without a proper prank to commemorate it.

A hand emerged from under the cloak, giving the odd appearance of a dismembered hand floating near a tapestry depicting a fruit bowl. The hand tickled a pear and soon, a door swung open, allowing Sirius to step inside of the large kitchen and pull the cloak from himself. The boy shook his hair back down, his soft, jet black waves falling around his shoulders in a messy elegance. He folded up the cloak and tossed it over his arm, then glanced around for an Elf to assist him. Several House Elves rushed up to the boy, staring up at him with wide and hopeful eyes, all wanting to be the Elf lucky enough to do Sirius' bidding. Sirius wasn't looking at the Elves now though, his eyes were locked onto another boy standing in the kitchens.

Though his back was turned to Sirius, the boy was instantly recognizable. His tall, lean figure, his shaggy brown hair, his too short and shabby robes, even the way he stood with his weight resting on one foot gave away the boy to be none other than Remus Lupin. Sirius licked his lips and grinned at the back of Remus' head. Clearly he hadn't heard anyone else come in to the kitchens. Sirius put his finger to his lips and looked down at the Elves as a way of telling them not to give away his entrance. He walked up slowly behind Remus and lifted onto his toes, trying to reach his ear.

"I thought you were doing your Prefect rounds."

Remus spun around with shock and guilt written all over his face. In one hand, he clutched a rather large chocolate brownie, well, half of a rather large chocolate brownie. His mouth was moving slowly, clearly full of aforementioned brownie, and he was doing his best not to let the creeping smile come across his face. "I am on my rounds," he said, his words slightly muffled by trying to speak around the food. He swallowed hard and gave Sirius a huge, chocolaty grin. "What are you doing in here?" he asked, taking another bite of his brownie.

"Getting snacks for our planning session," Sirius answered, reaching for the boy's brownie. When Remus pulled it out of his reach, Sirius scoffed and reached again. "Moony, let me have some," he whined when his reach was once again denied. Remus shook his head at Sirius, making the dark haired boy narrow his shiny grey eyes and jump towards Remus. "Come on, Remus, let me have a bite of it."

Remus dove out of reach and scurried to another part of the kitchen, Sirius right on his coattails. "No, Padfoot, go get your own. This one is mine," he said, holding his brownie up in the air as far as he could reach, knowing that even on his tip toes, Sirius wouldn't be able to reach it.

"That's low, Remus," Sirius said, his tone offended at the obvious insult from Remus' actions. He looked up at the unreachable brownie and pouted out his lips, choosing to go with another angle in his quest. "I just want a bite of it, Moony. You don't have to be mean." He looked up into Remus light blue eyes and begged through his own, giving the taller boy his perfected puppy dog eyes. "Please."

Remus' face softened from a taunting smile to a soft one. He looked down into Sirius' eyes and slowly lowered his arm, bringing the brownie within reach. He held it out towards Sirius with a sympathetic smile. "Alright, Pads, you can have a bite," he said, slowly. Sirius' eyes lit up and he reached towards the outstretched sweet, only to have it snatched back as soon as his fingertips grazed over it. "Not!" Remus shouted, pulling the brownie away and cramming it into his mouth.

Sirius watched in shock as Remus held his hand over his mouth, trying to chew up the too large brownie. Remus was afraid he would spit from his attempts at holding back his laughter watching Sirius' gob-smacked face. He finally managed to swallow down the last of his sweet and allowed his laughter to escape. "I'm sorry, Padfoot, but your face just looks so sad. You're pouting at me," Remus laughed out, shoving his hand against Sirius' shoulder in play.

Sirius snorted and turned away from Remus, his arms folded over his chest and his head hung. "You're so mean, Moony," he whispered. He pouted for a moment and reached up, tucking his hair back behind his ears. "I only wanted a taste. You didn't have to be so teasing." He dropped his arms and headed across the kitchen to the Marauders usual counter. It was an unused work space which was now more of a sitting counter that was available for any student who learned of the secret entrance.

Remus grinned and followed Sirius across the kitchen, waiting for the other boy to hop up on the counter and situate himself before speaking. "Do you still want a taste?" Remus asked, giving him a cheeky grin.

"Yeah." Sirius looked up, hopeful. "Are you gonna go get another one?"

"Nope."

Sirius' face fell with annoyance and he resumed his pouting. "You are a tease, Lupin. I just wanted one bloody taste of the thing and you keep teasing me with it."

Remus let out a quiet laugh and stepped in front of Sirius, placing his hands against the counter on either side of the boy. "I was offering you a taste of mine," he said, smirking at Sirius' pouting figure. When the grey eyed boy looked up at him with confusion, Remus gave another laugh. "You really don't know what I mean?" he asked, leaning forward towards Sirius. The other boy shook his head slowly, looking at Remus with empty eyes. Remus took a deep breath, a grin glued to his face. He lifted one hand from the counter and brushed his thumb along the other boy's jaw line, making Sirius' entire body tense. His lips parted and he leaned towards his friend, only to be surprised by two hands against his chest, pushing him back.

Sirius shoved Remus back away from him and held his hands out as though he were shielding himself from an attack. He shook his head and pointed his finger at the shocked blue eyed boy. "Remus Lupin, don't you _dare _kiss me unless you mean it," he barked out, his face set with determination.

Remus rubbed his lips together and reached out, taking Sirius' extended hands into his own. He pulled them down and apart, stepping between them to be in front of Sirius once more. He raised his hands and smoothed them over the boy's neck, looking down into his eyes with affection. "I do mean it, Sirius," he whispered, smiling at the way his friend's eyes flashed with excitement.

Slowly, Sirius straightened his back, bringing himself nearer to his friend's smiling face. Remus tilted his head just slightly and lowered his lips onto Sirius' in a gentle embrace. Neither moved for a few seconds, they merely held their lips together in a way reminiscent of their first clumsy and awkward kiss, only this time, it was more. Remus consented to make the first move in getting past that point. He parted his lips and forced Sirius' open along with them. Remus' tongue grazed over Sirius' bottom lip and the boy responded by wrapping his arms around Remus' waist and pulling him closer.

They moved their lips together with slow and careful movements, both getting the true feel for the other and adjusting properly. Remus twisted one hand into Sirius' long hair and pulled him harder against his lips. Sirius tightened his hold around Remus' waist and scooted forward a bit on the counter. He closed his knees against the other boy's hips, making him shift against him and give a small whimper against Sirius' lips. They clung to each other tightly, their lips moving with growing force and both beginning to breath frantically into the kiss. Sirius was the one to pull away, his face full of a giddy, childlike smile. Remus moved his arms down onto Sirius' shoulders and hooked his hands together behind the boy's head, giving him a warm grin.

"Do you think the Elves have more of those brownies?" Sirius whispered, barely holding back a snigger. "I mean it. That was yummy." He widened his smile and leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Remus' and pulling him closer to his body, removing the small space that still lingered between them. "You kissed me," he said, simply.

"Yep."

"_You _kissed _me_," Sirius repeated, rubbing his fingertips up and down Remus' back. "_Sober_."

"Yes, Padfoot, _I _kissed _you_. _Sober_." Remus gave the other boy a cheeky grin and swayed his hips just slightly. "Do you want me to do it again?" he asked.

Sirius nodded at first, but quickly switched to shaking his head. "No, not until you answer something." He pulled his arms away and pushed Remus back from him, breaking their embrace. "I want to know why. Why now? Why here?" He tucked his hair back behind his ears and looked up at Remus, who was obviously confused at his question. "Why did you just kiss me? Why did you do it _now_, in the kitchen, after all this time? You've had over two years to be with me and you do it…now. Why?"

Remus took a long breath, trying to give himself to fully form his thoughts. "It always felt like there was something in the way. First it was me being afraid to be that close to anyone, then it was you dating Becky, then it was James' horror over the thought of us being together, then it was Millie and you were with Janice and I-I-I just…I was bloody terrified." He drug his hands back through his hair and let out a small, frustrated growl. "I'm sorry, okay? I wanted you, don't think for a second that I didn't want you. Damn it, I've wanted you since the first time we kissed, it was just…scary as hell."

"It was scary for me too," Sirius whispered. "Especially with you rejecting me all the time," he added with a small laugh. He leaned forward and grabbed hold of Remus' hands, pulling the boy back towards the counter, then wrapped his arms around him once more. "I wasn't about to give up, though." He gave Remus a quick wink and was rewarded with another kiss.

Remus closed his arms around Sirius' neck and pushed against him with eagerness. A growl built inside his chest and, despite his effort to restrain it, emerged against Sirius' mouth. The dark haired boy pulled back and stared at Remus with wide eyes.

"Did you just growl at me?" Sirius asked with a smirk.

Remus nodded sheepishly and felt his face flush hot.

"Now you're blushing," Sirius prodded.

Remus buried his face into Sirius' neck to hide his fierce blush and inhaled the boy's scent. "You smell good, Padfoot," he whispered. "Like shampoo and sweat, not bad sweat, the good sweat, like you've been running around outside." He nuzzled closer into the boy's neck. "It's like being outside just before it starts to rain and you can smell it coming already." He closed his eyes and relaxed his body against Sirius, feeling safe and comfortable inside the boy's arms. "This is nice," he whispered.

"This is more than nice," Sirius answered, pressing his face against Remus' hair. "This is perfect."

They were still.

They were silent.

They were…interrupted.

A loud and awkward cough brought both boy's attention to the door of the kitchen where James Potter stood, staring at the ground. "I was thinking maybe you got caught or something…I wanted to check." He was shifting his weight between his feet, refusing to look up at his friends, who had pulled out of their intimate embrace.

Sirius hopped off the counter, making a loud enough sound to give James comfort in looking up again. "No, I just got distracted," Sirius said, glancing back at Remus and winking.

"Yes, I see that." James rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and gave Remus an accusatory stare. "Aren't you supposed to be patrolling right now?"

"I was just getting back to that, actually," Remus answered, starting towards the door.

"Wait." Sirius caught Remus by the arm and glanced back towards James. "Can we have a second?" He watched as James headed into the busy part of the kitchen and began talking with the Elves, then looked back up at Remus. "I just wanted to ask you something before you took off. Is this it? Are we finally gonna be…us? I mean, you and me, together…properly."

Remus smiled and leaned down, giving Sirius a small kiss on his lips and brushing his hand over the boy's cheek. "Absolutely."

"I'm in love with you, Moony."

"Yeah, I know. I'm in love with you too, Padfoot."

_Our fifth kiss, and every kiss after that, was just Perfect._

~o ~ o ~ o ~

_When you kiss me like this,_

_I think you mean it like that._

_If you do, baby, kiss me again._

_Kiss me again!_

"_You Shouldn't Kiss me Like This" - Toby Keith_

* * *

**A Note From the Author: I certainly hope that you guys enjoyed this. I sure did enjoy writing it. Don't forget to leave me a little love in the way of a review. I really like hearing what people have to say and how they feel about my work. :D --Jenna**

**Also, if you want to hear the song in its entirety, there is a link on my profile.**


End file.
